18 April, 2008...7:40 am
Bolta’s Ramsay crush
By The Editor
I’ve got to hand it to Andrew. Only he can take the most random topic — say, a foreign reality television program about cooking — and use it to make an argument about Australian politics — say, the much maligned and thoroughly rejected Liberal Party WorkChoices policy.
No, it’s not that Ramsay’s a walking advertisement for the Liberals’ old WorkChoices laws… Well, actually, I did like that, as did so many viewers who actually voted last election against the very laws that would let Ramsay do the same in a restaurant her
I finished having a good old chuckle at this brilliant bit of shithouse argument and read on, only to discover that not only is Gordon Ramsay an ad for WorkChoices but he’s also an ad for good old-fashioned conservative values from the good old patriarchal world, and a shining beacon for masculinity.
I like the passion that’s behind them, and the purpose. I like particularly the standards Ramsay upholds and which drive him to fury when transgressed.
Ramsay, you see, thinks hard work honours man. Slackers drive him spare: “You might as well just f… off.”
He thinks if a job is to be done, it’s best done well. Sloppiness is an insult to a worker’s dignity. A moral crime.
He thinks if you’re taking a man’s wage, you owe him a day’s labour. Those who bludge on their boss are called “cheats” and the worst, like the manager of Dillons, are out the door.
He thinks reason beats irrational sentiment. If orange paintings of what seems global warming turn off customers, then too bad if the owner loves them to sentimental tears; they must go to save the restaurant.
He thinks some authority is better than none when you want things run well. Three managers in one chaotic restaurant get pared to one, despite the tears, because collectives and group fuzzies just don’t work.
Yet he also believes in loyalty and teams - the little platoons of society that are the bedrock of a community.
Do you see how Bolta even slipped a dig at global warming in there?
By this stage of the article I couldn’t help but picture Andrew at his desk writing the article with a tear in his eye and chest full of conservative masculine pride. Gordon Ramsay, it seems, is the answer to all that is wrong with our feminine, morally weak and latte-filled world. Taking a sip from his scotch old fashioned and carefully placing his pipe to one side, Andrew blinked away the manly tears and finished his ode to Gordon, hoping to inspire the men who read his column.
Here’s Ramsay coaching millions of Australians into Liberal values and making them seem contemporary.
Yet even that’s not the full magic. A thug could have such values, without giving them the slightest charm.
Ramsay, though, is an artist who uses them as tools to create something beautiful from nothing—a banquet from mere groceries, and a restaurant from a dump. And not just that. He creates a noble calling from a job, and a life from a collection of days.
Make something of yourself, is his message. Test yourself. Find passion. Make a life and, in Ramsay’s own passion, his values and his art, he has.
Go forth, men. Do good.
The Editor
Jeremy
Ant Rogenous
23 Comments
18 April, 2008 at 8:54 am
Seriously, I think election of Rudd is going to end up sending Bolt to a psychiatric hospital. He seems to be losing it more and more, day by day.
One starts to feel guilty picking on him these days.
18 April, 2008 at 9:49 am
This hairy-chested self-image that Bolt has of himself — “The Lone Ranger of Truth”, defending the world against sissy self-hating Lefties — is painfully at odds with his inability to admit error (e.g. the Iraq War), or incisive criticism or, for that matter, a well-reasoned rebuttal. He’s an ideological terrorist and an innate coward.
18 April, 2008 at 11:54 am
Ramsay is a real man just like Andrew. Now for Friday’s music.
18 April, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Wow, another interesting blog post. You’ve read his column and posted almost 50% of it? With almost nothing to add.
18 April, 2008 at 12:39 pm
“He thinks if a job is to be done, it’s best done well. Sloppiness is an insult to a worker’s dignity. A moral crime.” that is pure gold coming from Andrew.
He is the king of sloppiness in terms of fact checking, validation source checking (tim blair and his own work do not count), selective quoting and consistent moderating.
Also according to Andrew if you make a mistake you should expect the boss to scream at you and to tell you to “f**k off” if you don’t like it..
18 April, 2008 at 1:52 pm
If Ramsey knew who Bolt was he’d shove a rolling pin up his arse and yell out : “How do you fucking like this you fuckin fucked up racist Dutch cunt”.
At least that’s what I hope he’d do and say.
18 April, 2008 at 2:23 pm
“He thinks if you’re taking a man’s wage, you owe him a day’s labour. Those who bludge on their boss are called “cheats” and the worst, like the manager of Dillons, are out the door.”
But if you’re a Liberal it’s a much less cut-and-dried argument the other way around, isn’t it? The “man” should be allowed to pay you less than your labour is worth, and faff around with po-faced excuses about the brave, new, competative world, times are tough, we need to keep up, you need to be flexible, oh won’t someone PLEASE think of the share-holders etc etc. Rubbish.
This was in that article, too:
The Scottish celebrity chef is rude and a bully - not the kind of sharing and truly caring type we conservatives generally are and admire.
I love this new meme that is developing about how conservatives are rooly and trooly loving, sharing, caring, compassionate people. Like Brendan Nelson crying tears about how tough “ordinary Australians” have it these days. Yeah, and what did YOU do about that when you had ten-plus years to do so, Brendan? Unless you’re rich, even if you’re born into wealth, conservatives don’t give a flying fuck about you. They believe that if you’re poor, it’s because you deserve to be poor, because you’re lazy and stupid. Do they think we’ve just forgotten the Howard years already??? This idea that conservatives are now somehow “generous” and “sympathetic” people is a crock of shit. Fuck off.
18 April, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Yeah, having the ability to yell, swear, assault, throw food at and demoralise workers with total impunity are great Liberal Party ‘Work Choices’ values that Ramsay epitomises.
Thank fuck some cooking cad in a Reality TV show shows us what we all could have had at work. The Passion ooh the passion, Ramsay is an artist to be admired. Bow and clap.
No, he’s a shithouse cook who wears fake blue contact lenses. Have a close look next time at his eyes Andy. Look long and hard as you stare into the eye’s of a real man — that are fake.
Sniff the glove.
Chuck.
18 April, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I’m pretty certain Ramsey doesn’t wear blue-contact lenses - they appear startlingly blue in “The F Word”, but that is an artifact of the colour-grading process used in most tv, but is amped up on cooking shows in order to show food to best effect.
The British version of “Kitchen Nightmares” is great, and Ramsey comes across as a loveable monster with some genuinely admirable characteristics; he’s kind even. Never seen “Hell’s Kitchen” - I hear it’s bad.
18 April, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Andy is just becoming more unbelievable as each week goes by.
18 April, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I told you - Andy is repressing some serious stuff. That’s why he’s so angry all the time. All that “man”-talk! (Has he not noticed all the women who work in these restaurants? Do they get a “Man’s wage”?) Andy really wants Gordon to “clean his kitchen”.
19 April, 2008 at 12:12 am
Coming up next for the conservative “intellectual” audience is a diatribe against Jamie Oliver and his lefty “grow your own vegies” poofterism!
Highlighted in the mouth breathers’ guide to kitchen Commies is the fact that Jamie, (I,Mao), Oliver masturbates the lefty victimhood industry by pretending to help disadvantaged kids become competent chefs in his “Jamie’s Kitchen” series.
A spotlight is also shone on Mr. Oliver’s Leninist tendencies to kick the McDonalds culture out of school canteens and force poor little schoolchildren to eat healthy food in his “Jamie’s School Dinners” series.
It’s all coming to a knuckle-dragging media outlet (channel 9, mark my words!) soon.
19 April, 2008 at 11:46 am
“This was in that article, too:
The Scottish celebrity chef is rude and a bully - not the kind of sharing and truly caring type we conservatives generally are and admire. ”
i’m pretty sure that was an attempt at sarcasm.
19 April, 2008 at 11:46 am
blah, why would anyone accept being paid less than their labour’s worth? We have a free-market economy. No-one is forced to work for less than their worth - unless of course they have a one-size fits all enterprise bargaining agreement/award and no ability to negotiate a separate higher pay under an individual contract.
19 April, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Imagine if Bolt actually met Ramsey. Imagine if Bolt actually plucked up the courage to tell Ramsey that organic food was indeed “poo food” (Bolt has previously referred to organic food as poo food, Ramset only uses organic products lol :P)
Of course I doubt would Bolt would ever muster such courage.
Hypothetical conversation between Gordon Ramsey and Andrew Bolt
Ramsey “A little birdy told me that you thought Organic food was Poo food”?!! Hmmm any suggestions shit for brains?? perhaps I should season my rib eye with DTT?? Who the f**k are you?
“I’m Andrew Bolt, HeraldSun columinst and I can also be heard on 3AW for 35 seconds a week. I even appear on The Insiders, but not every Sunday!!”
Ramsey “I don’t give a f**k who you are! you publically declared organic food - poo food. In my eyes, you have shown yourself to be nothing more than an ignorant f**k! “Thank christ your not running a f***ing restuarant. Am I making myself clear you Twat…I said am I making myself clear”
Later Bolt gutlessly, denies ever meeting with Ramsey. Ahh but someone has the whole incident captured on video kitchen cam
20 April, 2008 at 1:36 am
Bolt’s sheer unobjectivity and naked pro ‘Liberal’ stance is extrem hilarity.
For someone that bemoans the lack of balance in the ABC it’s ironic that he’s A) utterly partisan and B) still considers himself a journalist.
C) I’m still impressed he can fit into his trousers given the extreme stress he places on the crotch when seated.
20 April, 2008 at 1:36 am
Sorry “extreme” not extrem.
24 April, 2008 at 3:40 am
Yeah…he thinks George Orwell was a right-winger too…
27 April, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Ok, you’ve all had your little bitch session about the man’s light hearted commentary. Feeling better about yourselves?
Now to note that he was simply voicing his admiration for certain qualities of honest, hard working ethics. A good starting point to better understand us right-wingers is to introduce those words into your vocabulary.
Lastly, on the point of irrelevance you can add how that the post was an advocation of chauvanistic masculinity and the accusation of ‘racist’ is subliminally implied. lol. Do I have to explain how this is just rubbish?
27 April, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Yes.
27 April, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Forgive me for confusing myself with the repotoire of leftist pre-programmed political correct accusations. I intended to say ’sexist’. Followed by the rhetorical question.
27 April, 2008 at 10:58 pm
I love it when Bolt ‘adopts’ a new pet celebrity, usually because she/he has said something that Bolt agrees with.
And the great thing is that person is millions of miles away, won’t ever know that this Bolt fool speaks highly of him, and isn’t able to disown any words that Bolt has put in his mouth.
29 April, 2008 at 9:48 pm
kinda like you commie idiots and che guevara eh stevie rogan?
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